Being nicer

I was bitching about a client last week with a few other people.  I know this may come as some surprise to the young and innocent among you, but this happens in advertising sometimes. 

This time, something interesting happened: the conversation turned to why we complain about clients, and what that does to us and the relationship.  And we realized something: it's not good, and we want to stop. 

So I'm saying it here: I'm going to stop.

Why?

Because it's negative, and negativity tends to encourage more negativity.

Because I don't want to say things behind people's backs that I wouldn't say to their face.

Because it's a small industry and you never know when a comment will come back to haunt you.

Because by focusing on the frustrating parts of the relationship, rather than the good parts, it just sets the stage for more frustration.

Because it makes us stop seeing them as other people, with their own set of pressures and fears and perspectives and ideas.

Because it sets up an us versus them dynamic, instead of one where we work together to solve a problem.

Because it's a cop-out, where we resolve ourselves of any responsibility: "It was a brilliant idea, but the client just couldn't get it."  Well, if they didn't get it, isn't it our responsibility to find another way to explain it, or to figure out where that lack of understanding lies?  (Or heaven forbid, maybe to accept that the idea wasn't actually so brilliant after all.) 

Because every person that I've ever complained about I've also learned something important from, even if what I learned was how to deal with someone difficult.

And because even the frustrating ones are paying our salaries.

Image from Toothpaste for dinner 

Comments

[Tathiana Sobroza]

This is so true Jason... As a client, I'd say that we often do the same thing to the agencies.

The most important thing to remember is that, to change the world, someone must take the first step!Thanks for the inspiring post.

[Ari]

On a related topic, when translated from the original Latin, "Sarcasm" actually means "To Sear Flesh".

That point has stuck with me since first year English, as until I learned it I never really considered sarcasm as being malicious.

[Sameer Madni]

Jason, your comments in 'being nicer' really resonate. Having lived life both as a client as well as on the agency side in client servicing, I know how easy it is to become negative about the 'other side'. The most frustrating instances are when the agency's ideas make sense, but are then totally diluted by multiple (senior) client "stakeholders" who all want their comments reflected in the changes. In such instances if you're the client guy responsible for the agency relationship, you quickly personify all that's distasteful about that relationship. It's only cold comfort to think that such companies ultimately get the work they deserve, but it doesn't leave the agency feeling better about themselves - or the client.

[L]

Well put, insightful, and applicable to everyone.

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in some occassions...well in almost all the situations of the life, you have to be nice with the rest of the world, remember we live in a planet we can't abandon, so is better to learn the word nice.

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Not difficult at all. That depends on the person itself.